Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! This is a year of change, I believe. It's started already since I lost my job yesterday. I'm hoping that I can see the positive in this pretty soon but right now it's not real apparent.

I started the injections this week as well. Its kinda trippy to give yourself a shot in the stomach. :) It feels so unnatural. I have noticed a difference in my emotions especially since I started them also I'm achy and I usually get a headache every afternoon. I'm told this is all normal. Yippee for me.... Next week I go in for training on how to give myself the next set of injections. That's freaking me out a little since I got directions over the phone for the ones I'm doing now but I have to take a class for the HCG injections. How bad are these things??

We are still struggling financially but we have seen some miraculous things there too. Todd found a transmission in the loft of his building that he paid $50 for and was able to sell it for $1500. It was amazing!! We also had a friend loan us the money we needed for the IVF though Todd is trying to sell as much as he can so we don't have to borrow the whole amount. There has been some great breakthrough for Todd in being able to let stuff go and we are learning to trust in a whole new way because of it. God is doing amazing things in our little family but with change there is always a little pain. I'm working through that part now and hope that it's done soon. :)

Well I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year! Things are going to start happening a lot faster after the first of the year so I will be blogging more often. Much love to you all,

Nikki Miller

Insanity

Why do I feel like I'm going crazy?! I'm only taking birth control at this point but my hormones are going crazy. We will need some extra prayer from now on as I start taking the injections on Sunday. I so was hoping that I could come through this without feeling crazy but I don't know now. It's like amped up PMS but just the emotions for now. The doctor did say that by the end of the injections I will feel more physical symptoms rather than just emotional. Yay....  Well I just wanted to remind you all to be praying for us. We are still working on the financial piece of this too, but there is some hope in that. :)

Love to you all...
Nikki

Change...

Well here I am again sitting on a stool in front of my computer with a cup of tea close by. I've been thinking about what to blog for a couple of days now and I still don't know. I mean do you want to hear about how emotional I am today or would you rather hear about how stressed out Todd is this week. To say that this process is difficult is a major understatement. We are both constantly second guessing our decision to take this journey. We know it's right but still....
Are we going to be able to come up with all $12000 or are we going to have to stop midway through because we just can't get it? Are we sure we want to change our whole lives now? Are we going to be good parents? Is this even going to work?  Etc., etc.,etc..
We try really hard to maintain faith and hope in this whole process but sometimes it's hard. We get tired and down and things don't look as bright as they did a couple of weeks ago. This is real life and it isn't always sunshine and candy canes.

Well instead of going on and on about how blue I am today I think I will close this post and try again tomorrow. To all my friends and family reading this, there isn't anything wrong with me I'm just emotional due to hormone changes. I will be better tomorrow, I promise. :)